Wednesday, May 4, 2016

My mind runs away to you

      So its been a while I know but I really needed to write today and talk about something that has stayed with me for a while now and that is depression and anxiety it has varied in how much it has effected me through the years and I know without a doubt that it has affected me the most in the last year of my life the most!
       I guess it became most apparent to me when my dad did pass away when I was 18 and I really didn't want to do much in my life and now that I have accomplished a goal that I never though I would in my life, I really want it back in my life! I recognize that It hasn't even been a week sense I graduated and I really do miss a lot of it in my life already!
       There is so much that i am excited to be done with for now like homework and looking up classes and staying up till midnight to make sure I can get the classes that I wanted to take and  for goodness sakes trying to find parking places in a parking lot that is absolutely craziness driving through but getting to see good friends and co workers and bosses at school everyday was nice and going to not just my classes on campus but going to institute classes and being on institute council this past year was seriously something that I will truly remember forever, I grow constantly in my life from all that I was able to do with the people that became like family to me.
       I know this post is more for me to remember the good times I had this last year in my life and many many other amazing moments and friends that I have made on my collage career not just at uvu but also usu  as well and I wouldn't trade those moments for anything. I guess the question that I really have had on my mind lately the most is Now What?
       people I have been around have asked me this very question and I really do have a direction i want to go in now but it takes time and serious preparation to know if this is what is supposed to happen in my life. Yes this causes me more anxiety then I want to have in my life and has for longer then I want to admit as well, but it is also one of the most exciting and exhilarating feelings that I could ever have in my life right now!
      For now, I will just keep smiling and keep laughing this infectious laugh that I have and keep going after dreams that I have and keep trying to figure out what adventures life will lead me in to take in my life and still continue to grow and learn all that I can along the way. I just hope that I can do it all with a more consistent sleep schedule in my life:) and more of the peace I feel when I am surrounded by my best friend and brother Jesus Christ in my thoughts and actions!