Sunday, July 3, 2016


     So as of late, I have had thoughts running through my head lots about things I didn't spend as much time thinking about before for one reason or another! It's just crazy to me though how I have come to know that our thoughts really do determine our actions each day and how I need to learn and grow from the good the bad and simply all of the I don't knows in my life.
      I really truly have seen some of the best blessings I have ever received in my entire life happen as of lately more and more and for that, I am truly just grateful! I have so many incredible friends in my life, An amazing job that I still am flabbergasted that I landed and amazing co-workers that I can learn from each and everyday with! A newer car that I still don't feel I deserve and I have been surrounded by family that I don't normally get to see to often so why in the world do I still feel incredibly down on myself, down on others that do nothing but help me each day and I realized that I needed a change of Perception in my life more now!
      I've decided I'm going to work on figuring out how I truly feel about things that have ment different things to me throughout my life! The first is the freedoms and the blessing that I have to live in America. I was able to go to stadium of fire last night and I over the past 9 years or so I enjoyed going to this event and hearing the wonderful speeches and the presenting of the colors and the wonderful program that they do before the concert of the main singer that comes each year! I do love being an american and I really do not take that blessing for granted in my life however since my dad past away on the 4th of July when I was 18 I really have lost interest in things and people that truly are hero's and mostly the rituals that happen with certain patriotic events!
     For instance, I still cringed and was a little bit more scared hearing the noisy jets and fireworks all at once at the end of a beautiful song being sang to help all of us show our respects for The United States of America. I recognize more now that there will always be hard things happen for each one of us during different times throughout our lives and hearing those noise of paramedics stomping around in steel boots anywhere I am and hearing the sirens go off everyday will still be hard for me but I cant keep being scared of it all because it just causes more anxiety and more hurt then if I have a small moment and move forward to new and incredibly wonderful moments that precede the trying times. It's really not fair to me or too anyone else that I'm around!  
      I am really grateful for the freedoms that I personally have in my life and I will always be eternally grateful for the constant reminders that the soldiers that have served and that are serving now are incredibly courageous and selfless and amazing for what they are doing for their country and for me! I do love this country and the blessings that it brings into my life everyday! I just hope that someday I will be able to show the love that so many servicemen show to me!